I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
