I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
