If i come over, it means nothing
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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