and you said cock pushups were impossible
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize