ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
