Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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