You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
