Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
