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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
