So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
