I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
