I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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