I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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