I love black thongs
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
