During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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