how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
