My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
