Where did you get a picture of my penis
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Found the puke drawer
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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