Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
