Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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