just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize