This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!