It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.