You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We need to get me chipped asap
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
