Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.