we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do