i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
