Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
