Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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