the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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