home. puking in laundry basket.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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