I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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