the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
