in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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