Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
