But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
