also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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