i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
3 2 1 whiskey
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
