What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
