why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize