I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
