Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
