I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
