Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
