Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
