Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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