so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
