You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
worst night to have a conscience
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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