I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
