sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
