Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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