Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
