You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
