I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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