Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
