I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
