She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
did i walk over a car last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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