Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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