dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
