I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need moral support for this bender
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize