Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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