3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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